I have been a self-injurer for nearly 20 years. I have used many of these myself. Some times they worked, other times it was too much and I relapsed. I have been ‘clean’ for almost 2 years now. There is hope. I struggle on an almost daily basis not to harm, but as long as I can make it just ‘one more day’ than I know I have succeeded. When I relapse, I forgive myself, and move ahead. I do NOT look back to the past. There is nothing we can do about what happened in the past. (There is nothing wrong with reflecting, and learning from the past, but we cannot dwell in it.)
It is important to remember that not all of these techniques will work for everyone all the time. Some days you may relapse, and that is okay. It does happen, even after being ‘clean’ for many years. You have to forgive yourself, and start over. No one is perfect.
You cannot expect to get better over night. This will take time. It will take effort. Some days will be very challenging.
After reading this list, you may find a combination of more than one to be helpful. If you put your energy into finding the right technique, you may lower the need for self harm and make it “one more day”
First, and foremost, you should begin by journaling. In your journal, write what your triggers are. (What caused the need? What was going on? When? Who? How were you feeling at that time. What about injuring makes you feel better? What is your method of injuring?)
All of these things are important to learn about yourself in order to find the ‘right’ technique.
In your journal, you should consider also adding daily goals, such as trying a new technique, or ‘I will try to hold of harming for 10 minutes at a time, until the feeling passes or I cannot take it anymore’ And as the days progress, the time progresses. (ten minutes, fifteen, thirty, an hour…)
Short term goals could be equally helpful. Short, weekly goals, such as ‘I will limit my harm this week’ , or ‘I will not cut this week.’
Reward yourself when your goals are met. (A piece of chocolate, a new song or cd for your collection, a star sticker on your journal page?)
**Do NOT make unrealistic goals. It will not help. If you do not make your goals for the week, it is okay. Keep trying until you have met it. Forgive yourself and try again.
Be Productive! Keep yourself busy. The more time you have available, the more likely it is you will relapse. If at all possible, keep your self around other people. You are not likely going to harm when you are around others.
Exercise can also play a big role in how we feel. Exercising releases a lot of different things that aid in sleep, depression, and removing toxins from your body. Even if its as simple as a walk around the block, it will make a difference in how you feel.
(Trust me when I say, I loathe exercise! I am an overweight person who is very lazy. But I can attest to the fact that doing some exercise really does make you feel better!!)
Another important thing is getting plenty of sleep. It is recommended that you get 8 hours of sleep each night. This can be difficult for many people. Try some of the relaxation techniques I will list below.
If that doesn’t work for you, if it is at all possible, talk to the doctor* about taking some over the counter Melatonin. It is a natural sleep aid, and even children can take it. Or, (s)he may suggest another alternative for you. *( I recommend talking to a doctor, in case you are on any other medications, or have preexisting health issues!!)
Rest and relaxation:
*Meditation
*Deep breathing - as you take deep breaths in, tense your muscles and hold in your breathe for a moment. Exhale slowly, *relaxing muscles. Repeat.
*Take a hot bath or shower. Aromatherapy is also a nice touch. (chamomile, jasmine, lavender, Marjoram, Sandalwood, and Ylang ylang are all great choices.)
*Yoga
*Listen to classical music. Even if you aren’t a fan of it, it can be relaxing.
Remember, Keep yourself busy! Be productive!
*Be artistic or crafty. Make something, draw, write. Perhaps sell your work?
*Take up a new hobby. Knitting, dancing, model cars?
*Learn something. A new language, sign language, a new theory, useless knowledge?
*Join a club, at school, a book club, etc.
*Volunteer. Donate your time to local charity, help out at a nursing home, homeless shelter, or vet clinic.
*Make a blog.
Comforting misc.-
*Pop some bubble wrap
*Turn up some good music and jam, dance! Sing your heart out!
*Take a walk and enjoy nature, go to a park and swing, take time to smell the flowers.
*Chew on some ice, or a good piece of candy. Listen to the crunch.
*Blow bubbles. Yes. Bubbles. Its fun!
*Have a pillow fight with your wall. It sounds silly but it can get rid of some of the bad energy.
*Count down. 10, 9,8.7.…1
*Stretch
*Breathing technique
*Have a familiar toy, or object to hold
*Make a list of people you can call for help.
*Make a list of possitive affirmations you can look at when you need to
*Scrub the floor, or clean something vigorously.
*Do a crossword puzzle, or some other type of game like that.
*Watch a comedy
For Destruction-
*Punch or scream into a pillow
*Destroy a piece of paper. Some find that writing the problem on the paper before destroying it helps. Rip it, burn it. *Whatever works for you.
*Break something. (don’t break something that isn’t yours! Go to a thrift store and buy some cheap dishes, or the grocery and get some eggs!)
*Throw ice cubes at a wall
*Rip something up. An old phone book, newspaper, stuffed animal, tshirt, etc.
*Slam a door
*Pull weeds
*Hit a punching bag
For Sensation-
*Keep a rubber band on your wrist, snap when needed.
*Wax your eyebrows, or upper lip.
*Hold ice to your skin.
*Put your hands in freezing cold water
*Rub Ben-gay or Icyhot on your skin.
*Run, or exercise hard.
*Tweeze arm or leg hair.
*If you are of age, get a piercing or tattoo. Be warned though, it could be addicting.
*Eat a hot pepper
Visual-
*Freeze red food color in ice cube trays. Hold the ice to your skin. It will be painful and the red food color will look and somewhat feel like blood. It is messy though!
*Draw on your skin with a red marker, or paint. Use food color, or a red marker, to ‘cut’ yourself or a piece of paper.
*Carry an item or picture of something that reminds you why you don’t want to harm. (a picture of a family member, a bracelet … a self injury awareness bracelet would be a great idea.)
*The Butterfly Project - draw a butterfly (or something else) on your wrist (or the place you prefer) and try not to harm as long as it is there. Temporary tattoos are a good idea for this. **link below!
When the time is right for you, Throw out all of your self harming tools. Avoid triggers, and objects you use for self harm.
Additional Information-
Books on self harm:
Bodies Under Siege by Armando Favazza M.D.
Cutting by Steven Levenkron
A Bright Red Scream by Marilee Strong
Skin game by Caroline Kettlewell
The Scarred Soul by Tracy Alderman
Understanding Self-Injury by Kristy Trautmann, Robin Conners
Women who Hurt Themselves by Dusty Miller
Healing the Hurt within by Jan Sutton
When the body is the Target by Sharon Klayman Farber
Coping with Self-Mutilation by Alicia Clarke, Carolyn Simpson
Women Living with Self-Injury by Jane Wegscheider Hyman
Stopping the Pain: A workbook for teens who cut and self-injure by Lawrence E. Shapiro
See My Pain! Creative Strategies and Activities for Helping Young People Who Self-Injure By Susan Bowman, Kaye Randall
Crosses by Shelley Stoer (fiction)
Help lines and sites:
*Local helplines can be found in the phonebook
*http://self-injury.net/
*S.A.F.E. Alternatives (US) 1 800 DONT CUT www.selfinjury.com
*Bristol Crisis Service for women (UK) +44 (0) 117 925 1119
*http://www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk/home
*Boys and Girls Town National Hotline (for teens) 1 800 448 3000
*http://suicidehotlines.com/
*To write love on her arms http://www.twloha.com/
**The Butterfly Project-
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/index.php?categoryid=148
